a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

was lost and found

the lost version........ 3 October  2011....... draft and better version of -the battle trip to home



Good morning my imaginary readers (sorry again) happy Durga puja. So the Goddess has arrived, with her children and pets. The Goddess arrives at her Baaper Bari ( father's home rather in plain translation ). As far as my knowledge concerns about Durga puja or pujo, all I know its the time for new clothes. But its a shame to all the Bangla speaking people if  I  define this event into a materialistic aspect. the GODDESS is here to kill the demon Mahishaasur ( not sure of the correct spelling pardon again. ). She is here to kill the inner devil in our hearts- the selfish nature of our minds, the jealous heart, the unkind faces behind our fake masks. She is here to show mankind GOOD always wins over EVIL. Its the battle of Goddess, which we Bongs ( Bengali ) celebrate...... but we celebrate it with  delicacies , new clothes , and a new hope of  spirit....
                                  A spirit which drives us to shop all year (joking), well a spirit which guides us to achieve new everyday, win the inner battles we have all.... A Bong is a Bengali with first Kash Phool ( a symbol of beauty, a type of plant called Kash ) Sueli Phool ( a kind of flower ) and the First Sound Of Dhak  ( a drum).

thinking still how this post  got lost....


thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

Monday, 9 April 2012

Little Litu.....

A goodbye, that I don't want to give...

2 March 2012

( due to certain reasons the post could not be published on the actual date)

The purpose of life is not to live forever, but to live eventful, even if its a Dog's life.... How are we to prevent the known, that is the final calling?



The boy who never grew my Litu-pan ... you actually did not want to grow old, so you left......


Well when he came he was the worlds cutest puppy ever, with those lovely puppy eyes he had enchanted me... On 23rd  December 2006, came to me, just a 21 days old new born life. As a Christmas Gift from my mother. .....  A life who was so naughty that, we could never civilize him. A life which Departed today, giving us tears which are yet to dry....

My Litu ( Little- official name) left us for God, but being a selfish human, the whole family fails to accept the truth.  Since two weeks he was not putting up with good health, wasn't willing to taste a single morsel. But we kept him surviving on fluids....

He was not a pet, he was like my little brother, I couldn't stop loving him ,  for his never ending barks, licks, and jumps. I have scolded him, punished him, for his misadventures in the garden, on road, in car...Like any teenage boy, he loved Cars, he loved travelling in cars... Everyday for him was happy, no reason to be angry...

He was a great watchdog, for us and our neighbors and the whole colony, a great Maa bhakt ( my mom's sole lover rather real son..).  A protector, a real bodyguard who need to be guard by us during night walks...

Well we woke  up today to see him, that he will never wake up,. When he left today, he was still the worlds most handsome dog..  Five years , Litu gave us excitement, joy, love and  happiness without any materialistic purpose or selfish desire....


I apologize to you, for not providing you the freedom you deserved and wanted, you were always tied up and grounded as you were so naughty..


As we were burring him, a snail's shell fell in too, I just couldn't stop  mumbling everything happens for a reason,. When Litu was really Little, he used to eat up snails in garden,. and I fell the shell is a omen, rather indication from him to us, that He is in a place where he is free...

 I have a vision that you are free now, and running wild like you always did... A place where you are playing with Jassi, and no one is there to stop you.... one day we all will be together, you and the happy family...

P.S- He did not die, he just visited us for five years......

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries










  

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Flimflam Love...



When  Mehera (our helping hand) had broken the news of Kakri becoming Queen (pregnant cats are called so), my Mom and I got furious... She was only a year old and she was Queen already.. We had seen her dating the old fat cats, but we did not think she could be Queen  that soon.... That point I felt like a mother, who was embarrassed and was answerable to society for  her teen  daughter's  carelessness....

But today I am not here to pen about my Cat, but the reality I see around....   

I live in a small but economically sound town (its a junction though) of Assam ( state in India), or as I believe it to be... So today Mom and I were as usual talking about our day, when we ran back to our Pets past... We were ridiculing Kakri for her choice of Mates,  praising her mother and grandmother ( Jassi and Mini)...  Then it  struck me, if Kakri's being a Queen was so hurting, how would those parents feel whose Human Daughters ran away?

When I first joined my Second School in XIth grade, we saw a beautiful girl (I do not remember her name) who ran away on the second day of school. In two years stay in my lovely school, I saw three girls getting married while studying... After passing out High School I heard another getting married to a  twenty eight (28) year old  (now she is a queen too).... But after joining Pink College I have come to learn about many interesting stories of elopement rather running away...

1. One of the Professor's daughter ran away with his personal autoist (driver...), after this incident he has become more strict with his students, scolding any girl and boy talking, watching over our uniforms...

2. Another Professor bought his niece to study under his guidance, she ran away with a frustrated rogue...

3. Few days back one of my old classmate, ran away and married the son of the helping aunts in school. The boy even slapped her in public but.... The girls father is a reputed officer in Company...... her husband too a motorist... 

4. We witnessed a girl in  Girls Common Room, who changed to Bridal Red Salwar, and threw are Uniform in the dust-bin, and rode off on motor bike with her beloved to get married...

5. One of my father's Colleague's Son ran away with his girlfriend (the girl already had a record of running off twice with two different boys).. he was caught and restored to mind, now he is dumped...  

6. One of my Grandfather's ex-tenant's third son ran away and got married as his mother asked Dowry from the girl's family...

7. Another Classmate of mine left her studies and is sitting in home as her Boyfriend hates other boys talking to her,,, She did  not even think once about her family's hopes, and insulted her best friend of fourteen years over a boy...  

These are the few stories of the Elopement mania..rather running of adventures...I never understood the point of running off and ruining the family's name... Yes I may sound ancient and very idealistic daughter, I really don't see the argument.. Some explain me that "love is Blind" or say "they were in Love".... I have been brought up a very rooted human.. I believe in the matching of standards... Leaving my education for Love is stupid.... In today's world where money cant provide you mental security, can Love without maturity and education and job provide life's basic need- Food, Shelter, Clothing? 

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.....

In today's world Education is must, thousands in our country are craving for books, pens, paper... Yet some mindless youths don't see the reality... We live in a small town so, family can be supported on very small income, but ain't we degrading the growth in standards... A officers daughter marries a driver, a Cleaner's son running off with teacher's girl.. Love is pure, but I fail to see the purity that they claim.... I sound discriminating, I support equality, equality between the equals,,,  


 In Pink College I have heard that boys from lower strata of society aim to make girls from upper strata fall in love,,, I even heard my name too came up as a target...But when it comes to me, my anger and dignity has created a wall around me, hence I got the names like- Untouchable Goddess, Ice Princess, etc etc...

My mother says they will realize after two-three years in the humdrum of married life... But How do we make people of my age understand that life is not bed of roses? Instead of looking over our  uniforms, our fickle minds must be checked,,, Some say Love marriage, elopements are a way of rebelling? to which I answer " I am a Rebel but I dare not spite my nose to hurt my parents.."  Whats a Rebellion that's no good to self.... Its a selfish world with selfish aims, stupid sacrifices are of no use... 

 We keep shouting about equality, about dignity, about respect, we will never get a single bit, If we offer ourselves to bondage of ignorance, dominance, cruelty and commit the grave sin of  marriages at a young age....     

Gone are the days of Romeos who would die for Juliets, now is the era where every stupid puppy love begins with us ends in your Child, your mother, your etc,,,,  

If any of my readers are of my age, and if you think alike please aware your friends about the other-side of this stupidity, and if you want to elope, think once. 
" Will you live your Old Gods for the new temple", is your love so important then your parents smile...

Ten years down the line you really don't want to see yourself with babies around, you cleaning, cooking, with no career, but waiting for the money at the end of the month provided by your husband......
  
Live your life, don't go for obvious, in the end it wont even matter if you ever existed, without your story you are spec of dust...  

P.S- Education is must, Love a chance, a chance to get ruined or a chance to be successful...

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries